Easter

Alrighty… You did say that Patrick kept telling you (the last couple times he spoke to you) something about Easter that was important.  Well, Mom was going to try her automatic writing tonight.  I told her to practice first by contacting her Papa.  She started to write "Papa" on the page, but all she got was writing a  “P” at the top of the page.  She expected her grandfather to come, but  “Patrick” came instead. Lol!

Most of the AW looks like her writing, but there are words that are in print. Mom hates print and always writes in cursive, so that was interesting.  And a few words were ‘fatter’ or ‘stretched out’ if-you-will.  The last sentence on the 2nd page (and part of the last line on the last page) is definitely not Mom’s handwriting, and he definitely talks differently than she does.  Lol! When she re-read some of it later, she didn’t even remember writing it.  She even had a hard time understanding 1 or 2 of his poetic lines. Lol! And sometimes she couldn’t even recognize the writing b/c the letters looked a little different from her regular script. I also noticed that there were no commas when Mom wrote this, and that he underlines words differently than Mom normally would.

(Note: The AW is on one of the first pages of this site).



What she picked up After the Automatic Handwriting:

.



(Note: I suspect not everything is correct, as Patrick kept telling her – “Listen to Me” and “You don’t understand.”  Thankfully, my friend did a reading about it the next day.  She thinks some of what she says is right, and some of what Mom says is right.  Also, Mom has never been wrong with SHORT messages from spirits.  She’s brilliant at those, but the reading above with Patrick was the FIRST lengthy reading she’s ever done on a spirit.  So maybe it was hard keeping the connection longer than she’s used to).

- He said my real birthday was really
January 31, 620. Lol!

- When we asked when his birthday was, he responded –
“I dare not say.” Lol!  Then he said “600 of our Lord.  July 7.” (So that would be July 7, 600… Damn!  We were 20 years apart in age!!!  When I was 16, he was 35!)

- “France….. French….”


- His mother was from England.  His parents had a marriage of convenience.  They did not love each other, but were good parents.

- He had 1 sister.  Her name was
“_____ Anne.”  She had very dark hair.  He also had MANY, MANY brothers.  Too many to even count.  Some of them died at birth.

- Scottish/Wales (Patrick)
(I've ALWAYS thought Wales was related to Patrick - somehow).

-
“Erik” (Father of Patrick or myself.  Don’t know). 

- Surname:
“DeFontaine (Bleu)” (French word for ‘fountain’).

-  Mom said Patrick was getting annoyed or frustrated with her.  He told her
“Listen to me.” (Like she was getting something not perfectly; the pronunciation or something.  I think Patrick is very picky about getting names right. Lol!  Remember how he kept talking to you about the order of his name that day?)

- Okay…. This is HILARIOUS and creepy, so be prepared. Lol!  Patrick told Mom
he had 6 toes on one foot!! (Now THAT did NOT come from my mother! Lol!) He said it was “a matter of great concern” and that they didn’t know if it was "a good or bad omen." (Which makes sense for the times.  People were EXTREMELY superstitious back then.  I mean, if a baby had a strange birthmark, they’d say it was from the devil. I hate saying this, but back then some people would even resort to murdering a child with a mark like that). Anyway…. Patrick then laughed and said they decided to keep it! Lol!  Mom also said his extra toe creeped me out.  (And um... I think it still does. Lol!) - Mom kept seeing a white lace hankie (like he wrote about during the Automatic Handwriting).  Mom said it looked different from a regular hankie though.  It looked more like a doily, and it was big.  Then she heard customary.” Like it was part of a courting custom.  Then she heard “Dancing.” (Like when a lady would dance with a male back then, it was… “pure” shall we say to not allow your hand to touch your dance partner’s.  White signified purity, and the white hankies were a ritual in these dances).

- I asked Mom about how you said you felt that the castle, etc. was our secret place. He replied – “You don’t understand.” He said that I could have been his at any time because he was so powerful and rich, but that I had lots of suitors.  He wasn’t the best choice.  His only way of impressing me over all the others was to build a castle, hoping that by demonstrating his wealth he would be sending the message that he would always take care of me.  See that I’m looked after and that he was committed to the relationship.  (Mom also said it was very secluded – which was odd for the times). He was much older than my other suitors, so he had to be clever, he said.  The younger ones were always knocking each other off horses (jousting), singing, writing poetry, etc.  He had to do something different that would stand out.  The SECRET wasn’t he and I.  Everyone knew his feelings for me.  He wasn’t secretive about that, but the secret was that people were wondering why on earth a man with his riches and power was building yet another castle in the first place.  He already had one, so why the heck was he building another?  People thought it was crazy.

I was embarrassed by WHY he built the castle.  I told him... (and try not to laugh at the speech Lol!).... “Why this is ridiculous!  Why you’re a foolish man indeed!” Then Mom heard Patrick say – and this (his speech) sounded weird to Mom – “And says I in reply – ‘What fool be I, had I let the jewel slip away? Then who would have been the more foolish?’” Then Mom picked up something like – “The moment I saw you.  From that moment on, nothing was in my control.  The Fates took over.  I was compelled to do anything but comply.”

- Mom felt he was married twice before he married me.  One’s death was an accident, and the other died from a disease.  A plague or something.  He had children from those marriages that weren’t my age, but they were nearly my age.  They got along well with me, and called me
“Stepmother.” (Funny thing is that in my story, the main character is a widowed father that's much older than the heroine).

- Patrick and I had 2 girls.  They didn’t have blonde hair like him.  They had very dark hair. Patrick then said
“French” to Mom in a teasing, laughing way.  He said it with a sort of laughing smirk.  Our children were very close in age and had VERY long hair.

- The swans were a big deal because with each child we had, he gave me a swan. Lol!  That’s why Mom kept seeing a black swan and a white swan.  We had 2 children, so we had 2 swans.  Mom said she thought that Patrick thought he was very creative/poetic when he came up with that, but that I thought it was a little silly.  (This is funny – in the sequel to my first novel, Joseph says they’ll plant a new rose tree with each child they have. Now… I did sort of borrow that idea from the Avonlea books and tv series, but I have always LOVED the idea.  So maybe there’s a deeper reason why that always struck me as an awesome idea.  Only in my book I didn’t use swans, but rose trees.  And Patrick did tell you that I loved roses).

- Then Mom asked me to make a note for myself to look up what the symbolism for a swan is. Also, I named our home myself, and it had something to do with swans.

- I asked Mom about how I heard something that sounded like
“Chamrain Lake” in my head when I woke up one morning.  She said she thinks what I really heard was “Shimmering Lake.”  Or  “A Shimmering Lake.” (It may have sounded like “Chamrain” b/c of his accent).

- I named our home myself, and it had something to do with swans.  She said the name I chose was sort of a joke.  Like Patrick thought the castle he built for us was so grand, etc. but I thought it was a bit too much. Lol!  A bit ‘Goddy’ I guess.  I called it “Castle Cygnet.” Mom asked me to look up what Cygnet meant.  (I had only heard of  “Signet Classics” – the publishing company. Lol!) But Mom and I didn’t know what it meant, so we looked it up on the internet.  I was AMAZED.  It said a Cygnet was:

 
A juvenile swan, traditionally thought of as being ‘ugly.’ (See ‘The Ugly Duckling’)

So… I referred to our home lovingly and jokingly; as “A Cygnet.” Lol!

-
“Adelle” – one of our daughter’s names, named for my grandmother. Mom kept hearing something like “La Fon..”  Like a French word for a “Fountain.”  Then she heard “Spring.”  Like an underground spring.  We looked it up on the internet and found that “De Fontaine” translated as both “fountain” AND “spring” (an underground spring).

- I mentioned to Mom that I would love to see where I used to live.  She heard Patrick tell her
“It’s not there anymore.” Lol!  I guess he didn’t understand that I was talking about wanting to see it in A DREAM. Lol!  Not in real life.  (Even in that dream I had, it was in RUINS – big time).

 - Mom said my name was not “Becky,” but it was a form of that.  She kept hearing something like “Bacchae.” We looked that up, and it mentioned something about The God Apollo….which reminded Mom of when he mentioned us ‘looking at the Heavens’ (in the Automatic Handwriting)…. and the story ‘Euripedes, The Bacchae.’

- Patrick died of old age.  He lived to a very old age.

- Mom kept hearing, again,
“De Fontaine (Bleu).”  She thought it was one word.  She guessed it meant “Blue Springs.”  It was a surname.



A Reading on Mom’s reading:


Well, wow! That's a lot of information. Unfortunately you must be confused beyond belief now since some of the things your mom said differ from what I told you. I've been trying to figure out what to say about all that (the stuff your mom said).
I have to say that Patrick was here when I was reading everything your mom said. And honestly, I have to say that I got the feeling that it wasn't all right (PLEASE don't tell your mom I said that!). It just doesn't FEEL right to me (not all of it, but some of it). But who am I to say your mom was wrong about some things?  *I* could be the one who was wrong.

I think Patrick was messing with my head again last night though after I read what your mom picked up on because I was sitting on the sofa trying to figure out how your mom and I could pick up on such different things and I kept asking myself
"Was her mom right or was I right?" and all of a sudden I had the STRONG urge to do a tarot reading on it to see if what your mom picked up on was true. So I bolted into the dining room, tarot cards in hand. It was like it was a matter of life and death! LOL! I couldn't write down fast enough what the cards were saying but halfway through the reading I sort of "snapped to it" and I even said out loud "What the heck am I doing?" lol. Again, at first I thought it was the BEST idea in the entire world to do a tarot reading to see if the information your mom gave you was correct and then all of a sudden I'm realizing halfway through it how dumb it was and I couldn't believe I was doing it! LOL! So I think Patrick "hypnotized" me again. LOL! Damn! LOL! Anyhow, I DID finish the reading. The question I asked was "Was the information that Kristin's mom picked up on correct?". Well as I was shuffling the deck, one card flew out of the deck and landed on the table. I KNEW that card would be significant so I turned it over and it was the Queen of Swords, upside down. It says that "despite good intentions, false words can hurt people and relationships. Lack of clarity" .

Ok, then I put that card back in the deck and continued to shuffle them and then lay them out for the reading. The first card said- "Victory is elusive (I IMMEDIATELY remembered how Patrick had yelled
"Victory" that time he was here).. A lack of awareness in those around you". The next card said that "more understanding of the situation is needed. Superficial knowledge".

Now, please know that I am
NOT at all trying to prove that I am right and your mom was wrong. There is NO way I would EVER do that. I am just telling you what the cards said and trying to help you put the pieces of the puzzle together. I could of been TOTALLY wrong with what I've told you. I just told you what I felt was right and what I was getting from Patrick and the feelings he was impressing me with. It is quite possible that I could've mis-interpreted things. So who knows? I guess you will really have to do some soul searching inside yourself to see what FEELS right to YOU.

But I have to say that I keep hearing over and over and over again
"She needs to know the truth". and "Tell her. Tell her. Tell her" and "She needs you". And also last night I could've sworn I heard Patrick say "I picked you for a reason". (don't ask me what that means! LOL!) I forgot to tell you that last night after I heard "I picked you for a reason", I asked why and I heard "Because I knew you would understand". And also I keep asking in my head who is right- me or your mom and I keep hearing  "Both". So I take it that there are some things that your mom and I both said that are right and then the rest is up in the air.

Also, I think the reason Patrick comes to me is because he knows I am a PERFECTIONIST when it comes to passing messages along. I NEVER pass along a message to anyone unless I know for sure that is what I heard, and that is what the spirit is trying to tell me. I always ask for proof that what I have just relayed to the person is in fact true because I do NOT ever want to say something to someone that is false. Most times when I have relayed a message to you from Patrick, I have asked him to tap me on the head if I indeed got everything right and every time I felt a tap on my head.............. Oh get this- one time after I had just finished giving you a lengthy message from Patrick, I went outside for a smoke, and as I was standing on my deck, which faces the road I was saying to myself,
"I really hope I got everything right because I will feel horrible if I said something that was not right". Well about 2 seconds after I said that, a big truck went by with 5 huge gold starts in a row on it. You know, like how they rate movies- it gets 5 stars if it was a good movie? Well, as soon as I saw that, I knew that was confirmation for me.


PS- I think I should tell you that Patrick was here for part of this email because when I started to answer some of your questions, I could hear words in my head that were not my own and I started typing and using words that I wouldn't normally use (I started to sound like a pompous snob- lol). I'm pretty sure he was impressing me with information because I all of a sudden got VERY passionate about what I was saying and telling you, and was answering your questions quite matter-of-factly. I actually had to go back and edit some of it because it didn't sound like me at all and I didn't want you to think I went cuckoo on you. lol. So just thought I would tell you that. (I actually started to feel a bit "regal" there for a while! LOL!)

*************

I told you a long time ago that I felt that you were a servant to HIM. The card even showed a man on a white horse with women, lower than him, surrounding him looking after him.

My being a servant would DEFINITELY explain the secrecy.  But it doesn’t explain the engagement ring or that he’d build a place for me, a servant.  I just never got the feeling that I was his servant.  I could be WAY OFF, of course.
(And it is interesting by the way that your card had a man on a WHITE HORSE with women looking up at him. Lol!) And in those other dreams I’ve had, I wasn’t a pauper by any means.  I was dressed very grand.  And didn’t you say Patrick showed you me walking around inside a castle?  Did you ever see how I was dressed?  Like I said, I could be soooo wrong but I just don’t think I was a servant.  MAYBE a maid of honor for a time, but not a servant.  I just don’t feel that at all, and in those dreams I was dressed very stylishly.

I think that if he formulated the Dr. Neil thing, he most likely formulated the entire dream. I think that dream was more meant for you to remember your feelings and the circumstances not the cabin.

I think that’s probably true.  I do think it’s THE MESSAGE of the dream that’s the most important.  That SOMETHING was keeping us apart, and that we were sick to death of it.

And I don't think he lived there with you. It was a place for him to come see you. So he could keep you safe and know where you are. That's my feelings on that anyhow.

Now-- if I was his ward like Mom said, that would make total sense out of the place he had built for me.  Something like that (his act of building a place for me) would not have to be secret, and he could come and go as he pleased without people getting too suspicious.

And I do think that his being ordered to ‘look after me’ by my father/whomever feels right.  I could be way off, but from the first time Mom said that - it felt right.  I just don’t think I was a servant and… hey, wait a minute… maybe the “giving up of authority” was related to that.  That he no longer looked to me as being just his ward that he was put in charge of.


Another Reading on PL:


Before I respond to your email, I just wanted to let you know that this morning I did 2 more readings asking what your relationship to Patrick was in your PL. I asked if you were indeed married. Now, while shuffling the cards, one card, again, flew out of the deck and landed in front of me.
It was the 4 of Staves upside down. That card has a picture of two lovers toasting their love in front of a castle.  Now, right side up, that card indicates a new marriage, BUT it was upside down and when it appears upside down, it says, "The desire to put down roots but elusiveness in doing so. Wanting stability. Frustrations and disappointments with love". After I did the 2 readings, I couldn't get a definite answer on whether or not the 2 of you were married so I asked the cards to give me ONE card that would answer my question of whether or not you 2 were married and it was the Ace of Cups, upside down.That says, "Emotional disappointments. Disillusionment with love. Sadness and melancholy." So I am still thinking that the 2 of you were not married. Put those 2 cards together and they pretty much say the same thing.

Here are some other things I picked up in the 2 readings I did........................


I am beginning to think that your mom may have been right when she said that Patrick built that castle for you to impress you because a lot of his cards actually said
"Using wealth to manipulate others. A need to control situations from behind the scenes." So that echoes that he used his wealth to impress you by building you a castle. I knew that it was definitely a gift for you but I wasn't sure why. I thought it was so that you 2 could have a place where you could meet in secret but I don't think I had the full picture. I think your mom was right- he did build it for you to impress you BUT I also think that it also was like I said too, a place where you could meet in secret. So not only did he build it to impress you, but it was a place for the 2 of you to be together away from everyone else. Also, a lot of the cards mentioned "secrecy" as well as "time to move on but unwillingness to do so". So I am still thinking that your relationship was secret and the time to move on has to do with your relationship ending. If you 2 WERE married and he died of old age, then there would be no need for the 2 of you to move on would there? Every reading I've done on the 2 of you mentions you 2 being torn apart, and time to move on but not wanting to do so, etc, etc. The readings also said "Stagnation and fear of change. Resisting transformations. Adherance to the status quo. The need to move in a new direction but not wanting to do so. Rigidity" That to me, is referring to him having to do what his family needed him to do and that was to marry someone else (or something along those lines).

>>>But wait a minute… just had a thought… if I really was a servant (still not sure about that) and our relationship was hush-hush… which is understandable… why would we ever be engaged?  People whose relationships are a secret don't get engaged.  Royalty don't ask peasants to marry them.

Well sometimes symbols are not literal. So maybe the engagement ring meant to show me that you 2 were
committed to each other, not necessarily engaged. By the way- I have to tell you that the part about you being a servant was one of the parts where I felt Patrick was taking over my thinking. When I said "because you were a servant" when you said you just couldn't understand why the secrecy, that's when he started to come through. If I remember correctly, I actually started to type something like "It would be most inadvantageous for a man of my nobility to be seen with the likes of a servant". Now, do you think *I* talk like that? NO. I don't even know if "inadvantageous" is a word! lol. (it was something like that anyhow). I know you have doubts about being a servant but I really do feel that you were. Maybe you started out as being in his care but as you got older, you were "put to use" as a servant? And you asked me if I saw what you were wearing when I saw you in my visions- well you didn't look royal or high-up that is for sure. Your hair was long and it was pulled back in a long braid and you were wearing a plain looking dress with a flowery pattern on it with like a white apron-type thing around the front. You just looked like an average girl to me. When I see Patrick, there is NO doubt that he is high up. I mean his clothes are FANCY! lol. Yours were not, not even your hair- it was just a simple braid down your back. By the way, I've been meaning to tell you this but I keep forgetting. Ever since you and I have been writing back and forth everyday again, I think Patrick has been sneaking in some visits to me hoping I won't notice. LOL!  The other day, I thought for sure that I saw him in my mind's eye and I was wondering what he might want. Well, I went to go out to have a cigarette, and you are not going to believe this (and nothing like this has EVER happened to me before)- I HEARD A MUSIC BOX PLAYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew right then that it was Patrick. lol

Hoping you won't notice? Does he hide in the corner? Lol!  That's funny.  Well, I did yell at him that one time about leaving you alone.

Well I just catch a glimpse of him once in a while. He looks like "Ooops, she saw me." lol



3 of Swords
July 4, 2007

I’ve been wondering if Patrick (or spirits with a talent for writing) is/will help me write this latest story, as it is loosely based on him.  So while looking for a new paranormal board to peruse, someone mentioned to somebody else to visit tarot.com  I decided to check it out as well, and receive a free reading.  I really was doing it pretty much for the entertainment value, I admit.  I am weary of those sites where some computer program does the tarot readings.  Anyway, the question I focused on was if Patrick (or anyone else) is helping me write this book and if it will become easier.  I hope so, as I’m halfway done writing the first draft.  The last card which was pulled REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.  It caught my attention because the 3 of swords is the card I always associate with Patrick.  (Because when I first started communicating with him that card was always present for him).  The second card (2 of cups) caught my attention a little bit as well, but the 3 of swords I definitely think is a message.  It’s all about communication and how I shouldn’t be afraid to try to further that communication MYSELF.  (Which, I admit, I have been a little frightened of.  I just can’t help myself sometimes.  I mean… it’s Patrick, but he’s still a “stranger” in some ways.  A spirit for cripes sake!  I find it funny that it mentioned “obstacles” in communication.  Lol!  Also “create a dialogue,”  not to mention “a relationship situation is tense and frightening”).

Three of Swords in the "Love Challenges" Position

Intervene in the face of a possibly tense relationship situation, summoning the courage others may be lacking.

The card that lands in the Love Challenges position refers to ways that you can turn obstacles into stepping stones.

With the Three of Swords in this position, your unique point of view may help lower the stakes in a possibly tense relationship situation. It may even create a dialogue to help relieve the anxiety and strain that has built up or looms on the horizon. It takes a brave soul to remain optimistic in the face of the storm. You may be able to help salvage some harmony from a stressful situation.

Apparently, you may be the one available person who has the skill and ability to facilitate better communications. While you might resist making a move, it may not be in your best interests to hold yourself back simply because a relationship situation is tense and frightening. Maybe there is something you can contribute that will smooth things out a bit. Have courage!